The Sad Days

I couldn't wait for summer back when school was in session.  I would make up lists both in my head & on paper of things I wanted to do once I was free.  But now that I'm here in it, I've found these days to trigger much sadness.  Being alone all day while my husband is at work is, well, lonely.  I have to push myself to do things, to get out, to get out of my pajamas & take a shower for goodness sake.  And it seems all the sad things - the things that are wrong, or broken, or unknown, or hurt me - well these things are all staring me in the face saying, "Give me your time...  Think upon me... I will keep you company & keep you safe... I am true & real..."  And, I'm ashamed to say it, but often I've listened.  Not wholeheartedly perhaps, though maybe sometimes, but enough to get the message & then cry out to Jesus in prayer to help me out of this desperation, because I don't want to be here in these sad days.  In this depression.

And I know He hears & knows & understands & cares & has purpose.  Even in the sad days where moments may tell me otherwise, I still know.  So, I wait on Him.  And I try to do better today than I did yesterday.  I try to see the good that seems invisible.  Because, yes, it is there.  And I keep crying out to my Heavenly Father God, because I know He cares & loves & is forever listening.  Especially in the sad days.

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted & saves those who are crushed in spirit."

-Psalm 34:18

"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud & mire; He set my feet on a rock & gave me a firm place to stand."

-Psalm 40:2