Of Summer Things & 'The Now'

Summer is almost here & I'm writing down all the things I want to do & counting down days.  It's that time of year in teacherdom where it seems all at once so close & so far.  It's only 12 more days!  How can I possibly survive for 12 more days?  Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

More than ever, besides all the bucket-y list items of go to the library, eat a snow cone, and clean out the closets, I want to be present in the now & enjoying what I've got this summer {& beyond}.  Oh yes, how easy it is to always be waiting on the next best & brightest - the new adventure your hoping/praying will be just around the bend... But what about the now?!  The minutes & seconds & moments that are precious & real & spinning past & being neglected &, yes, even wished away {hence my school countdown}.  I find it a fine line indeed between the now & the hope of the better in the not-now.  It's tricky, but I don't want to miss the now amid all the pressing thoughts of When we get a house... When we get pregnant... When we get out of debt...  When Jesus returns... 😇  Because one day, my sisters, He will & there will be no more waiting around for anything, & we will give an account for all our days.  Thank You, Jesus, that You are faithful even when I am not.

Let's make our moments count.

Oh, yes... & in the end loving Him is all that counts.

The Things My Kids Say...

Me to a kid who just came out of the bathroom: "Why is there soap all over your face?"
Kid with total earnestness: "'Cause I wanted to look like Santa Claus."

Kid: "My mom wears diapers.  She likes to pretend she's a baby."

Kid patting my belly: "You've got a baby in your tummy."
Me in total honesty: "Um, no, I don't."

one particular Kid on the regular: "I'm gonna be good tomorrow."
Me internally: "Why not now???"

Kid with mucho anger towards me: "You should go to jail!"
same Kid same day: "I love you!!!"

Kid playing with plastic tweezers: "My grandma uses these on her chin!"

Kid at car dismissal time: "Did you tell *Jamal's parents to give him a whooping?"
Me totally lying: "Yes, I told them to give him two."
Kid hugging me like a beaming parent: "I'm so proud of you!"
*name changed to protect the innocent, cough-cough guilty

Burned Out Teacher Truths

It is such a sad feeling really & it at once works me up so bad I can feel the blood boil, that this is the reality for too many teachers in too many public schools in this country.  That this is the state of education here in this century...

This little blog of mine has been pretty neglected lately.  The life of a teacher is a busy/crazy one, & I'm finding more & more, at least in public education, it's just not what it used to be.  With standardized tests, pressures from the county trickling down to administration & then pouring onto educators, micro-managing bosses, uninvolved parents, people making the big decisions who haven't been in the classroom for years - or perhaps ever, "politics" for want of a better word, & those who pick teachers apart during observations & evaluations...  This just isn't what I want anymore.  The demands to be superheros or, at least, someone who has very little home/social life or sanity left or both is crazy.  I think I would have been happy back in the one room school house days or even education 50 years ago.  Today, it is a politicized mess with way too many pressures & demands on those who should be  making the "big bucks" in our society.  If you find yourself at a struggling school, like I have the majority of my career & am in now, that's on some district list of under performing schools, just teetering on the edge of a state takeover, where the kids come in each day with so much baggage of pain, violence, neglect, & poverty... then you know the pressure, the demands, the crazy, the hurt of just wanting to teach the kids of love, and life, and the sweet stuff of meeting them where they are and making them fall in love with the very act of learning, giving them a safe place to be fed body, soul, & mind.  But, instead, you know you face the mandates, the "best practices" flavors-of-the-month, intervention curriculum, & constant push to up the scores - because isn't that what it's all about?  For me - for this teacher - it is not, & so I think my farewell to public education is long overdue, for I have beat my head against this wall long enough.  I've already made it known to my school I will not be signing next year's contract.  It is at once freeing & unnerving, as I don't know what God has in store next, but I know He goes with me, & where He goes I hope to always follow.  Three months to go & counting...

10 Photos that Shaped My Year // 2018

Find a photo from the year's greatest adventure - big or small.

We traveled to Williamsburg, VA + D.C. in November during my birthday week!

Find a photo of a significant moment.

I staged this photo last year {with the Clearblue ovulation tests I'd been using} for a blog post about things to do before you're expecting.  The next month I found out for the first time that I had PCOS {polycystic ovarian syndrome}.  We don't say this flippantly or as a cliche, but we still have hope & trust in Christ about all our hopes & dreams.

What photo makes you feel most alive?

There's nothing like those salty waves!  In February we took our 1st weekend getaway to the beach!

Pick your favorite photo of you & the people you love.

On this day in 2018 we turned 2 years married!

Search for a photo of a morning you want to remember.

It was January 17, 2018 when I woke up to the first epic snow day I've ever experienced way down here in Georgia.

Find a photo that represents joy.

Happiness is a swing set just waiting for you!

Locate a photo of the people who shaped your year.

This guy + me + Jesus {& ice cream}.

Find a photo of you trying something new.

I applied for a pre-k teacher position on a whim in late July & surprisingly got it!  Having taught mostly the upper elementary grades before this, pre-k has definitely been a learning process + major adjustment.  It wears me out on the regular, but my kids {for the most part} are sweet!

Identify an image of something you are proud of.

In September we participated in a relationship building {super fun} competition held annually in our city called "The Amazing Marriage Chase."  While we didn't win, we successfully found & completed all the challenges before the allotted time - & our backsides landed in the paper!  That's us in the front far left.

What is a photo you'll want to pass down to future generations?

'Cause love.

View last years' 10 here!